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Submitted on
August 6, 2012


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It's almost too easy of a rant going by the title, isn't it? Well, I'll go ahead and do it anyway. I think most people reading this would be surprised at the extent of the idiocy.

We are going to completely ignore the horrendous nutritional content of the "Olympic" food, and focus on the calories instead. Let's have a look at the McD menu -… How about a Big Mac, large fries and coke, and a strawberry banana smoothie for dessert?

550 + 500 + 310 + 260 = 1620 Calories in one meal. This is already 80% of the daily norm for an average person. If this is one of your meals, you will be well over the limit after two more meals - whatever they are.

How many of the athletes would still be able to qualify for the Olympics if they ate exclusively the above mentioned crap consistently? Let's think about it. My guess would be somewhere between zero and a quarter. How many would win Olympic medals? I think none of them. They would be carrying extra fat, and would likely be in poor health.

Here is why. Hardcore exercise makes you tired and hungry. Let's give them three of the above meals per day without any snacks whatsoever (unreal assumption, by the way). That works out to 4860 Calories. These are professional athletes we are talking about, so they train very hard. Their muscles are larger than average, so let's suppose that their bodies use 2200 Calories per day at rest, leaving us with 2660 Calories to burn off.

Morning - 2 hr insane, non-stop, highest intensity weightlifting = 1000 calories
Evening - 10 mile run or equivalent cardio = 1200 calories

Most professional athletes will not be able to complete the above routine every day without either getting injured or overtraining, unless they are endurance athletes. Most people who eat at McDonald's don't complete this amount of exercise in a week. After all, it's the equivalent of running ~3 miles PER DAY for a week.

So where is our athlete left after this insane workout and a mere three McDonald's meals per day? That's right, he's getting fat very quickly! One pound of fat contains 3500 calories. It turns out that he ate roughly 500 more calories than he used, translating into a gain of 1 lb of fat per week, every week. After a year of this insane exercise routine, our athlete will have gained 50 lb of fat and his career would be over until weight loss can occur.

In fact, quite a number of professional athletes could benefit from a lower body fat percentage. Here is just one example -… - of a tennis player dropping 30 lb of fat and storming into the Top 10 in the world late in his career.

I can tell you from personal experience what it takes to burn off 1000 calories. I can do it in exactly 1 hour on a bike at the gym. Put on your shorts, t-shirt, and shoes and dive into a pool. When you get out, without shaking off or squeezing out the water, take a look at yourself in the mirror. You are dripping all over the place, leaving a trail of water behind you. If you shake your hand, you create a localized rainstorm. Now you have a good idea of what I look like when I finish. In this hour, I drop more than 5 lb of sweat, and there is a huge puddle which requires a mop to clean up. That's in addition to a fully saturated towel of decent size which is wet enough to drip if held up. I feel rather sick, my whole body is burning. Walking is a bit of a challenge.

The Olympic motto is "Faster, Higher, Stronger" which is somewhat ambiguous. However, I am fairly sure didn't mean faster death, higher blood pressure, and stronger constipation. The sad part of this whole debacle is that their pathetic ad campaign will probably be effective and kill tens of thousands more through diabetes, heart disease, and all the other awesome things obesity brings.

Fuck you McDonalds, fuck you Coca-Cola. Oh, and fuck you US government, for having corn subsidies which make this disgusting food much cheaper than it should be. Coke is 100% corn (high fructose corn syrup). McDonald's meal is probably >50%.

Edit: On further reflection, I missed the bigger picture. It's not the companies which are the culprit, it's the people. The clueless, and often fat as a result of their ignorance, person who is the average consumer. So fuck you, the average consumer who falls for this shit. I hope I won't be insulting anyone who has read it this far, because you aren't falling for it any more, right?

P.S. No, Michael Phelps never ate 12000 Calories per day. It's bullshit according to the man himself. He probably ate half that much.
  • Listening to: the fridge
  • Reading: finishing up Omnivore's Dilemma
  • Playing: mostly bike and weight lifting
  • Eating: awesome strawberries
  • Drinking: tea
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balnibarbi Aug 11, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
And this is why I cook for myself as often as I can...
13insane37 Aug 11, 2012  Student General Artist
this is the best fucking journal i have ever read in my entire life.... couldn't agree more!!!!
AlTHR33 Aug 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I think about this everytime I see the olympic mcdonalds commercials. The ones where the fast food diners are telling the olympians how to better their chances of winning. Meanwhile, I figure the athlete would be clearly thinking "you disgusting louse. Eating that and telling me how to do my job." I honestly hate those commercials for that specific reason. :/
KarasuHebun Aug 8, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
first off people burn calories at different rates i burn calories as fast as most of my friends just by being at rest and when i work out i start losing weight by roughly 1-2kg a week without even trying hard by being at rest i burn all my daily calories and i usually eat a meal at mcdanks that consists of 3 jr. chickens a large coke large fry.
jennystokes Aug 8, 2012  Professional General Artist
Idiocy in everything now!
Woot! I approve of this rant. >_<
To me this seems to show how few people are willing to hold themselves accountable for their own descisions. I'd say the very vast majority of people who eat there know it's not good for them, so we definitely can't say that the corporations are brainwashing us or some such equivalent.

Recently McDonalds has been attempting some "our food is healthy" commercials.
I don't know why they bother, their commercial could probably say "Here, eat this crap," and people would.
IvanAndreevich Aug 8, 2012  Professional Photographer
I'm sure they know, but they don't realize the full extent of it. Three meals at McDonalds, run a half-marathon every day, and you WILL be obese in one year.
I was just thinking that it really dosn't help thta a fair amount of parents take their kids to McDonalds as a "treat." Positive reinforcement with a negative product just seems wrong.
IvanAndreevich Aug 8, 2012  Professional Photographer
Sadly, kids are pretty stupid. That's why they become targets of marketing campaigns.
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