When you list something for sale on Craigslist, scammers from Africa will often respond with fake payments and attempt to get you to ship your real goods to them. Here's one who emailed me, and I ended up giving him more than an earful. Below is the actual conversation which took place through email over a couple of days. It starts out as you would expect, but ends somewhere else entirely. I think it's an entertaining read.
Scammer: Good day...i saw your advert regarding your [item] for sale. hope it's still available...? (I was 90% sure this is a scammer at this point due to the format of the message, name and email address used, etc..)
Scammer: Thanks for the mail, Alright then i will offer you $420 for the item including the shipping and handling to my nephew schooling at Montessori high college in west Africa.Please accept this amount that's what I've got. Or mail me the courier cost, how's that? Awaiting your feedback.
Me: Go fuck yourself.
Scammer: That was derogatory.
Me: Touche stupid scammer. Go get on with your sad life.
Scammer: Hey you, don't insult me because i replied to your ad. After all you're not the only one selling via the internet.
Me: Why are you still wasting your time? Instead of using the internet to get a good free education you dedicate your time to scamming stupid people.
Don't lecture me on what I should, and should not do. As if advice from a piece of shit like you is of any importance to me. If you don't want to fuck yourself - go fuck your mom instead.
Scammer: Its like you're use to insulting people. If you've not fucked your mom before you wouldn't have referred it to somebody, Bloody ingrate!!!!!
Me: Your mom told me that you are a thief and a disgrace to the family and the human race. May Mohammed or Jesus (whichever of them you hold holy) whoop your ass. Seriously, though - get an honest job. Shit like this won't end well for you.
Scammer: I wish you them all back to the sender. Its like you know your mother is a stripper i've met her on several occasions you idiot never you get back to me with your wretched mail.
Me: Weak response, bitch. Do you believe in god? Did you read the Bible or the Koran? Did you fucking MISS the part where it said "DO NOT STEAL"?
Scammer: FUCK OFF SON OF A BITCH.
Me: So you don't believe in god then? Oh noes.. burn in hell forever. But if you do - still burn in hell - because you do not follow god's commandments. Looks like a lose-lose situation for you, unless your change your ways. (At this point, I was fairly certain that he was believer, just wanted him to admit it).
Scammer: Look at who's preaching. You don't either practice what you preach. You're now pretending to be a devoted christian. Am sorry for you, you're the one to languish in hell. I think you need serious deliverance.
Me: Oh no, I don't believe in Santa. You do, supposedly. Yet, you give less of a fuck about his rules than I do (in this case: "do not steal"). What gives? Are non-christians better christians than christians when it comes to following god's commandments?
Scammer: See,with the way you writes God's name with a small letter have said it all. You're an Atheist then. cease your sermon to me. i really don't give a damn to them. If i need sermon, i would rather go to where i worship and do that,cos you're not worthy to.
Me: They have OBVIOUSLY not taught you well, so do listen carefully. The majority of the people you scam from North America (~85%) are Christians. Congratulations on doing an excellent job of loving thy neighbor.
I am sure that you're making god really proud of you by doing this, seeing as to how you should follow Jesus' example and all. I may be an atheist, I don't think Jesus was a thief and a liar to his fellow men like you are.
Doesn't it make you feel sad at all about the state of your faith in relation to how you live your life?
It's certainly surprising to me. I don't believe in god, yet it's completely obvious to me that the relevant part of the bible is correct in saying "thou shalt not steal". So: why is a person of faith is willing to do evil against what their god instructs, while a person of no faith is not doing evil of their own accord? Let's face it: I could scam more people for more money being here, and having better English than you ever could remotely.
I guess your faith must not be very strong at all, or what other explanation do you have?
Scammer: I really think you derive extraordinary pleasure exchanging words with me. While you hardly know me. Why don't you go on with your story. Its sounding more interesting to me. Who knows,you could be the one to proselyte me. If you understand what i mean dude. Go on we've a long way to go.
Me: Answer the questions I asked then, because I have no idea what the answer is.
Scammer: They're the answers that would lead you to hell. I think you asked a rhetoric question.
Me: It's not rhetoric question, and it's rather simple: Why do you break your god's commandments?
Scammer: Mr I A or what do you call yourself?,I've seen that you've got talent in persuading people to your belief. Or in other words should i call you a suit Sayer,leave me alone and let me be. I think silent is the best answer to a.............count your teeth with your tongue.
In loving memory of the Hitchslap.
P.S. Views expressed above don't represent IvanAndreevich's views or values accurately. A "stage persona" was used to taunt the scammer for entertainment purposes.