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When you list something for sale on Craigslist, scammers from Africa will often respond with fake payments and attempt to get you to ship your real goods to them. Here's one who emailed me, and I ended up giving him more than an earful. Below is the actual conversation which took place through email over a couple of days. It starts out as you would expect, but ends somewhere else entirely. I think it's an entertaining read.


Scammer: Good day...i saw your advert regarding your [item] for sale. hope it's still available...? (I was 90% sure this is a scammer at this point due to the format of the message, name and email address used, etc..)

Me: Yep.

Scammer: Thanks for the mail, Alright then i will offer you $420 for the item including the shipping and handling to my nephew schooling at Montessori high college in west Africa.Please accept this amount that's what I've got. Or mail me the courier cost, how's that?  Awaiting your feedback.

Me: Go fuck yourself.

Scammer: That was derogatory.

Me: Touche stupid scammer. Go get on with your sad life.

Scammer: Hey you, don't insult me because i replied to your ad. After all you're not the only one selling via the internet.

Me: Why are you still wasting your time? Instead of using the internet to get a good free education you dedicate your time to scamming stupid people.

Don't lecture me on what I should, and should not do. As if advice from a piece of shit like you is of any importance to me. If you don't want to fuck yourself - go fuck your mom instead.

Scammer:  Its like you're use to insulting people. If you've not fucked your mom before you wouldn't have referred it to somebody, Bloody  ingrate!!!!!

Me: Your mom told me that you are a thief and a disgrace to the family and the human race. May Mohammed or Jesus (whichever of them you hold holy) whoop your ass. Seriously, though - get an honest job. Shit like this won't end well for you.

Scammer: I wish you them all back to the sender. Its like you know your mother is a stripper i've met her on several occasions you idiot  never you get back to me with your wretched mail.

Me: Weak response, bitch. Do you believe in god? Did you read the Bible or the Koran? Did you fucking MISS the part where it said "DO NOT STEAL"?

Scammer: FUCK OFF SON OF A BITCH.

Me: So you don't believe in god then? Oh noes.. burn in hell forever. But if you do - still burn in hell - because you do not follow god's commandments. Looks like a lose-lose situation for you, unless your change your ways. (At this point, I was fairly certain that he was believer, just wanted him to admit it).

Scammer: Look at who's preaching. You don't either practice what you preach. You're now pretending to be a devoted christian. Am sorry for you, you're the one to languish in hell. I think you need serious deliverance.

Me: Oh no, I don't believe in Santa. You do, supposedly. Yet, you give less of a fuck about his rules than I do (in this case: "do not steal"). What gives? Are non-christians better christians than christians when it comes to following god's commandments?

Scammer: See,with the way you writes God's name with a small letter have said it all. You're an Atheist then. cease your sermon to me. i really don't give a damn to them. If i need sermon, i would rather go to where i worship and do that,cos you're not worthy to.

Me: They have OBVIOUSLY not taught you well, so do listen carefully. The majority of the people you scam from North America (~85%) are Christians. Congratulations on doing an excellent job of loving thy neighbor.

I am sure that you're making god really proud of you by doing this, seeing as to how you should follow Jesus' example and all. I may be an atheist, I don't think Jesus was a thief and a liar to his fellow men like you are.

Doesn't it make you feel sad at all about the state of your faith in relation to how you live your life?

It's certainly surprising to me. I don't believe in god, yet it's completely obvious to me that the relevant part of the bible is correct in saying "thou shalt not steal". So: why is a person of faith is willing to do evil against what their god instructs, while a person of no faith is not doing evil of their own accord? Let's face it: I could scam  more people for more money being here, and having better English than you ever could remotely.

I guess your faith must not be very strong at all, or what other explanation do you have?

Scammer: I really think you derive extraordinary pleasure exchanging words with me. While you hardly know me. Why don't you go on with your story. Its sounding more interesting to me. Who knows,you could be the one to proselyte me. If you understand what i mean dude. Go on we've a long way to go.

Me: Answer the questions I asked then, because I have no idea what the answer is.

Scammer: They're the answers that would lead you to hell. I think you asked a rhetoric question.

Me: It's not rhetoric question, and it's rather simple: Why do you break your god's commandments?

Scammer: Mr I A or what do you call yourself?,I've seen that you've got talent in persuading people to your belief. Or in other words should i call you a suit Sayer,leave me alone and let me be. I think silent is the best answer to a.............count your teeth with your tongue.

The End.

In loving memory of the Hitchslap.

P.S. Views expressed above don't represent IvanAndreevich's views or values accurately. A "stage persona" was used to taunt the scammer for entertainment purposes.
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Add a Comment:
 
:iconmakeyourownmusic:
makeyourownmusic Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2014
This is great, thanks for sharing! :D i too hate scammers and think that more people should do this to them, maybe then they will realise nobody is falling for their rubbish. :giggle: the only criticism i have is maybe not swearing at them so soon, but stringing them along for a bit longer, playing along and really make them believe they are getting away with it, now that would have been much crueller :lol:
Reply
:iconboobslaya:
boobslaya Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012   Digital Artist
lol.
Reply
:iconsweetsmummy:
SweetsMummy Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
just a bit confused, how did you jump to the conclusion he/she was a scammer and not a genuine buyer?
I've asked questions about items and said "i'll get back to you about x" and then when I reply and say sorry I cannot purchase it or have no means of pick up etc: the seller jumps down my throat with insults like what you've posted.
Reply
:iconivanandreevich:
IvanAndreevich Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2012  Professional Photographer
Fake email, fake name, etc.
Reply
:iconsweetsmummy:
SweetsMummy Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
how you know they were fake lol?
one of my first emails addresses were asiantay @ hotmail
and another snails_eat_my_socks @ hotmail
Reply
:iconivanandreevich:
IvanAndreevich Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2012  Professional Photographer
That's fine. They actually had "first name last name" type email, but the names made no sense and didn't match what was used in the email itself.

Scammers often use names like Wills Smit or something dumb like that instead of Will Smith.
Reply
:iconsweetsmummy:
SweetsMummy Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
hmm okay I think I understand you :)
Reply
:iconyoshio25:
Yoshio25 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i lol'd hard at this in all honesty, im atheist myself and i hate watching christians who hold themselves so high in regards stealing and treating others like dirt.
Reply
:iconivanandreevich:
IvanAndreevich Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012  Professional Photographer
Got a muslim one next up. Expecting death threats.
Reply
:iconyoshio25:
Yoshio25 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
niiiice xD ya my grandmas one of those christians i hate >.> havnt seen her in a few years (doesnt know im atheist and still trying to send creaation magazines to me despite that i believe darwins theory >.>) but sisters visited last summer, she treated them like dirt, actualy called one of them fat, yet she praises the lord and pushes god on everyone
Reply
:iconivanandreevich:
IvanAndreevich Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012  Professional Photographer
Not sure if you should hate her per say. If she doesn't know you are an atheist, how can you complain? :)

Well, is one of them fat or not?
Reply
:iconyoshio25:
Yoshio25 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i dont even wanna bother telling her (visiting this summer unfortunatly >.>) cuz its just gonna cuz a huge mess, but i stand by my beliefs as she does, except i dont force mine upon people like she forces hers.

and no, both my sisters are healthy, fit and skinny, they both play rugby, both go to gym occasionally and theyre far from fat. my grandmother is a bitter, rude, mean woman

and it irritates me that she is so, she insists on telling my mother that we should go to church so that "all ur problems will be solved" when both her children other than my mother still live at home (both over 19)and the one duaghter has had 2 abortions and her son has a son


im sorry for the rant >.> but this issue really irritates me
Reply
:iconillusivereality:
illusivereality Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012
Based on the evidence given, you were presumptuous. Some of these people have English as their 4th or 5th language, so it's easy for them to say things that they don't mean (or that sound like scams). I would prod more, get him to tangle himself up a bit more, and if he would refuse to use a safe and trustworthy means of payment, then I would nail him.

As for your technique, it was dirty. I mean, dragging religion into the conversation was immature. Instead, your reply should have been a single line that absolutely finishes-off the conversation. It's not that hard to do, you just missed the juicy bits.

I'm eager to see how your next Troll/Spam/Scam killing goes.

Score: 2/10
Reply
:iconivanandreevich:
IvanAndreevich Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012  Professional Photographer
Muslim scammer coming right up..
Reply
:iconillusivereality:
illusivereality Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
Expecting some proper pwnage. :dummy: You could try nailing him before Godwin's Law kicks in... but somehow, I take it that's not your style. =P
Reply
:iconivanandreevich:
IvanAndreevich Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012  Professional Photographer
I prefer to nail them on religion they self-admit to :)
Reply
:iconbluefalcon13:
bluefalcon13 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2012
LOL LOL that was awesome !
Reply
:iconnoaqep:
NoaQep Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2012  Professional General Artist
I love you forever now.
Reply
:iconheatherfish24:
heatherfish24 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2012  Student General Artist
It will never cease to amuse me how people just don't get it...or are just in denial.
Reply
:iconemilyequine:
EmilyEquine Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I loved it...i have to deal wih scammers all the time, harsh words are the only way to get through to them, good on you!
Reply
:iconanomala:
Anomala Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
Wow. I'm really glad I read this. Your photography was always a joy to absorb, but now that I know what the person behind the camera is, I'm unimpressed.

How pathetic.
Reply
:iconivanandreevich:
IvanAndreevich Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012  Professional Photographer
You didn't read the fine print at the end :p
Reply
:iconstarrkravenmad:
starrkravenmad Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012
Yeah, he wants to use big words, but he either uses them incorrectly or mispells them. This leads me to think he's a person trying to come off as smarter than he is. His issue wasn't religious beliefs so much as he felt inferior to you. I would have originally thought it was his inability to grasp the English language, but that idea flew out the window when he used words bigger than his mind can grasp. People who have learned English and a 2nd language don't try to use those kinds of words. Meaning not only is he a scammer, he's a dumb scammer.
Reply
:iconivanandreevich:
IvanAndreevich Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012  Professional Photographer
Well, I wish he didn't run away at the end. I'd like to see him open up a bit :D
Reply
:iconstarrkravenmad:
starrkravenmad Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
LOL. Yeah, the guy was a little too shy.
I can't wholly disagree w the others in saying you might have been a bit harsh, however, I have not had to deal with the same stuff you have, so I can't really know where you're coming from. Those who want to jump your case from it and judge you for it, need to also realize this same thing. We all want to judge people on the immediate, but never really want to dig down and find out the truth. I myself would have just deleted his email, but again, I haven't been in your situation. I think scammers are mindless soulless people who really don't care how they hurt others as long as they get what they are scamming for. And while you may not have stopped the guy from scamming, you may have just given him enough to think about that might possibly get him to maybe change his way. I'm not holding my breath, I believe scammers are narcissistic in nature, so they don't usually want to change. But hey, you never know.
Reply
:iconivanandreevich:
IvanAndreevich Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2012  Professional Photographer
Making him think about it was my home towards the end. I think I can do a much better job next time.
Reply
:iconstarrkravenmad:
starrkravenmad Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2012
I think you probably can :D
Reply
:iconmoosplauze:
Moosplauze Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Pretty arrogant attitude you display there. Judging from your photography I would have thought you would have dealt with such a situation more mature. After all, if this guy was really a scammer, do you really think he could get free education from the web and then earn money with it in the place he lives? He probably has no better choice, so he is doing what he is doing. I don't really want to justify what he does, but...well...I just rather wish no people would need to do what he does to feed their families but lead less sad lifes.

I enjoy your photography though, don't get mad at me for this comment, I just sometimes feel the need to express what I feel/think. :peace:
Reply
:iconlucasblahblah:
lucasblahblah Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
No, not always. Many scammers from Nigeria aren't necessarily dirt poor and scam because they have no other choice. Many are organized in groups and operate as a business. Even with a high success rate, the money earned from the result of these efforts could be used then for other purposes such as schooling, but, the scamming always continues.

Many people internationally have been kidnapped or killed in various scam incidences, or had large sums of money stolen from then. Some have been romance scammed and had not only their money taken from then but have been traumatized with the mental equivalent of rape. You might think it's more mature to extend your sympathy to third world countries but scamming, like most other crimes, is a multifaceted issue which I would not be so quick to pity if I didn't understand it as a whole.

Anyways, I'm not trying to start a flame war, I have just know a few people who have been scammed and it has been devastating for them : | If there was equality throughout the world then this tricky scamming issue wouldn't even be present (which will never happen)
Reply
:iconmoosplauze:
Moosplauze Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I know, I actually know more then most other people about the Nigeria Connection. But you don't really think that the person writing those mails is actually getting rich, right? That person is just the smallest wheel in that organized crime machine. He obviously is a criminal, but please don't forget that even criminals have human rights and it doesn't help much to insult them...I wish I could tell you reporting them to the authorities would help more...but they can't do much about it either...
Also don't forget, that fraud is a crime where the injured party takes part in the whole story, if people weren't greedy, airy or dumb, then many would not be injured by those crimes. Of course you can get very unlucky and still be injured even with good precaution and without being dumb, no need to tell me, I know that too.

I am not taking sides with the "weak" one in this, it is not that easy.

Anyways...I think we mostly agree on the situation of those scammers and wish for world peace to rain down from heaven (heaven, NOT god) one of these days :pat:
Reply
:iconlucasblahblah:
lucasblahblah Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, I don't know if it's mainly greedy and dumb people who get scammed, most likely just people of the older generation who aren't well educated with the ways of internet safety. But besides that, I guess I agree with you. It makes sense that a portion of the scammers aren't actually willing to be a part of the business, but may be forced into it. I guess it's fair to refrain from insulting on behalf of that.

As for reporting, it's unfortunate that only a handful of cases have been solved. I think raising public awareness as preventative measures is the best way to ensure no one falls victim, especially when it comes to more elaborate (but maybe only marginally more convincing) setups such as romance scams.
Reply
:iconmoosplauze:
Moosplauze Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Yep, that's true.
Reply
:iconivanandreevich:
IvanAndreevich Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012  Professional Photographer
I'm not mad at you - everyone is entitled to their own opinion :)

Sure, I'm a bit of a prick here. I just figured he deserved it.
Reply
:iconmoosplauze:
Moosplauze Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
In some way he surely did deserve it, I agree.
Reply
:iconflamer-ohr:
flamer-ohr Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2012
You attacked him too soon, even if he was truly a scammer (not proven in that conversation) it just looks like you were being a bastard...

Although thumbs up for standing up against scammers and giving them what they deserve, just could've been done better in this particular case.
Reply
:iconivanandreevich:
IvanAndreevich Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2012  Professional Photographer
Well, I'll do better next time. I didn't expect to ace it on the first attempt.
Reply
:iconbitexmex:
biteXmeX Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2012
Entertaining, but a little too harsh.
Reply
:iconchimera64:
Chimera64 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2012  Professional Writer
You think it's entertaining and I think it's utterly infantile on both your parts.

Yeah, scamming sucks. I think everyone knows that (or at least it would be a very hard point to argue) but being an insufferable douchebag sucks too and that's kind of how I think of you now. *shrug* oh well...your photos are nice, so that's what I'll focus on from now on.
Reply
:icondrexith:
Drexith Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2012   General Artist
Interesting. I like it ^^
Reply
:iconriderroni:
RiderRoni Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Student General Artist
That's a little intense..... I kinda feel bad for the scammer.
Reply
:iconfallingdark:
FallingDark Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Question: do you watch House? :D
Reply
:iconivanandreevich:
IvanAndreevich Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Professional Photographer
No, I don't watch much TV. However, I did watch Dexter.
Reply
:iconfallingdark:
FallingDark Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
I asked because if you picture the conversation in his voice, you totally sound like him XD
Reply
:iconivanandreevich:
IvanAndreevich Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Professional Photographer
Is he good at scolding people? Heh.
Reply
:iconfallingdark:
FallingDark Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Ohohohoooooo yes.
[link]
Reply
:iconplease-help-im-alive:
Please-Help-Im-Alive Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is quite possibly the most entertaining and excellent thing I've read all day. May they rot in their own filth.
Reply
:iconshinsengumi77:
shinsengumi77 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
While scamming is admittedly terrible, this definitely doesn't make us atheists look very good, in my opinion...I would have just said "not interested, sorry." or "I have others located domestically who are interested in the item." Making assumptions is very risky.
Reply
:iconivanandreevich:
IvanAndreevich Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Professional Photographer
No need to worry, I don't represent you. I represent myself.

What exactly was I risking?
Reply
:iconshinsengumi77:
shinsengumi77 Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm not worried, but regardless, the actions of one can and do affect how others are perceived. If someone saw your thread -especially a christian or other religious person- they might attribute your actions to your being an atheist; then anyone who is an atheist might be judged to be a certain way, and cause either embarrassment, resentment, enmity, etc. (It'll be a century before we have an atheist President...apparently we lack moral integrity and traditional values -and this stuff doesn't really help to reject that sentiment.)

I'm sorry for being nosy; the comments just came across as a bit rude, when no rudeness was necessary. I also do not believe this was really in the domain of Christianity/ religion vs. atheism. It seemed more like a scammer vs. someone who does not wish to be scammed, and then religion was spontaneously forced into the matter. You are of course free to do what you want, I'd just like for you to consider being more cautious with your words. Again, take this as you will. My :twocents:
Reply
:iconivanandreevich:
IvanAndreevich Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Professional Photographer
I know precisely what you mean. However, people who view others as part of a group rather than as individuals are too stupid for me to be concerned about. How ironic that what could very well be an evolutionary adaptation affects mostly those who don't believe in evolution.

Rudeness was not necessary, no. It was just for fun :)

The domain of religion is everything, in case you didn't notice. It makes a claim to guiding people to moral behavior, so a deviation from such is definitely within the domain of religion. Atheism has no domain, just like not collecting stamps has no domain. It makes no moral claims. It's a logical conclusion of a lack of compelling evidence.
Reply
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